The cycle of gender-based violence is quite interesting. 

He hits her once, she forgives him. He hits her for the second time, she goes to her mother’s house. Her mum probably tells her ‘you know how it is sometimes? Marriage is full of qualms. Stay. The children need their father’. He comes knocking at her mother’s so she gets back, praying for a change in this man. 

He hits her for the third time, probably the fourth.

Then it gets too far. She is killed. Probably inadvertently or premeditated. 

Sounds familiar, huh? I’m not sure about you but I’ve lost count of how many times these cases have been reported in the media. A good number of them go unreported. Think about that for a second. Marriage is complicated; so I’ve heard. But I’m of the strong opinion that we should choose a struggle; to leave alive.

The world is evolving. Women are now more empowered, independent, go-getters, very opinionated. That doesn’t take away from their home-making skills though. Most women are just not totally sold on depending on the men in their lives for their sustenance. We hustle! 

My point? I think men should step up to the ladder as well. I mean, what options are there? Easier said than done though. How do they step up when some of them do not value family? Some men, who have low self-esteem because they saw their mother struggle to stay afloat in an unhappy marriage? Resulting in him being emotionally-unavailable.

This takes me to my next line of thought. But do we really have men to marry? Some of them take more selfies in a day than you take in a month. Gossip more than our mums have become cry babies and what’s with the rising trend of men getting so comfortable in being dependent and funded by their women? It’s ludicrous. Dates have become the exception now. They want to take you for a first date in their house. 

What does this have to do with us ladies? Don’t expect a man to love you while you don’t have self-love. It starts with you, honey. That thing of the universe vibrating at your energy? Is true. You can not expect a man to treat you well when you don’t treat yourself well. What are you also bringing to the table? My two cents.

To answer the question above, yes, I do believe we still have men left to marry. You just have to know where to look. But I am yet to meet a couple that met in a club and has lived happily ever after. Have you? Gimme a thumbs up 👍🏽 

On the real though, we are a fucked up generation. I don’t know who put a spell on us.

Till next week 


Top @shopnewlevel

Jeans – Thrifted

Thigh-high boots @ backyardshoez

Photo credits @royalreelphotography

Location- @entimsidai



  1. Naomi Muthee Reply

    Wasn’t a reader you know but Wamuhu makes you yearn for knowledge, am 19 and this is refreshing
    Can’t wait for next week’s piece😊
    Love you Wamuhu ❤️

  2. Someone just spoke my mind, Where do I get you directly? I really need to talk girl!!! Nice piece

    • wamuhu Reply

      Thank you, girl.
      Please if you can send me a DM on Instagram so that we can have a conversation.

  3. Mercy Rutto Reply

    Wamuhu Njuguna my daily dose…am learning new things daily because of you. Keep doing it queen. I love you ❤️❤️

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