It’s storytime today hunnies!
At the beginning of last year, I shed quite a few pounds. I was cool with the new changes, mostly because it was out of will. Went literally from being a small to an XS; what’s commonly known as 1gb. Going in, I didn’t know how drastic the changes were gonna be to other people. People were like, ‘yoh! Wasup with the weight loss’? Very opinionated and borderline condescending remarks were being thrown here and there. Obviously unwelcome and unsolicited. Here’s what ticked me off- how people were so quick to voice their negative sentiments about my own body without having a clue of what you went through to achieve that.Or even bothering to find out.
My collar bones are poppin’, I could literally fill a cup of water in there. So I heard. ‘You’re too skinny’, ‘eat a burger’, ‘do you even eat’? Get off my back! Who died and appointed some people ideal body size police? I haven’t come across any scientific article that explicitly points out certain body frames as perfect for existence. But being raised in an African set up meant that all we heard (still hear) is you have to be big to look healthy. I’m just human and it got to me, earned me really insecure at some point. Let me just be extra real with you, I did binge eat to gain weight at some point in my life. Growth is a beautiful thing though. I’m not 100% okay with my body but I have evolved into being comfortable with being uncomfortable with the insensitive remarks and love my body at the various stages in my life.
Here’s a quick reminder; women are quite the emotional beings. A slight joke/remark about their body normally can be misconstrued and ruin someone’s day. We all know someone who would rather skip a whole event if it involves wearing certain items of clothing if it means revealing their insecurities. Maybe we are those people. Here’s the thing the thing queens, if you lose or gain a few pounds, society will get uncomfortable either way. There’s no winning, there’s no pleasing everyone.
So hunny, don’t bend over backwards to be morally acceptable because the fucking society will always find something to criticize. People will always want to dictate how best you should live. So be you and love the hell out of your curves, your deep collar bones, your big thighs, your small or ample derriere, your skinny legs. Just every darn thing. It’s the beauty of being a woman. My school of thought, nothing would ever seem too less or more if not have been defined by society. Or comparable to others. You know what they say about ‘comparison being the thief of joy
So did I eventually love this new weight? I am learning to love every bit of it and not focusing on naysayers. Their opinions don’t really matter, shouldn’t matter.