I’ve been meaning to yield my thoughts on this topic for quite some time now.

We all have our diverse views on this, understandably so. 

What’s your definition of decency? In matters of dressing. What is morally acceptable?

I am sick and tired of the women being victimized in sexual assault cases because of their dressing. It’s quite sad that the first thing that comes into mind when we hear of a rape scene is the victim’s dressing. All because it triggered the man’s wild thoughts of animosity. Why does the woman have to bear the blame for such a heinous act? Does anybody ever ask what the rapist was wearing? I thought so too. 

Rape was already happening back in the 1800s when women wore frocks and several layers of clothing underneath. Frocks guys. Nothing ‘seductive’ there. Rape has nothing to do with fashion and everything to do with the rapist.

I’m doing my civic duty to fight a battle that can never be worn even in the judiciary but we gotta keep speaking up. Maybe someday, someday this will change the narrative. New’s flash; in case it’s not obvious at this point, clothes don’t determine consent.

When I wore this outfit, someone had the audacity to mention that they could never take me out looking like this.

His reasons? It is not acceptable and it’s indecent. How about we define decency according to the occasion of where one should wear such an outfit?  Decency means different things to different people

Maybe we should pay more attention to what makes you feel the most comfortable, not what the so-called society chooses to brand as modest. Our moms are always the first people to call out even a slight showcase of a cleavage. How about we shift that focus to teach our sons about respecting women’s bodies? And the art of consent. Maybe his will breed more gentlemen and diminish rapists and rapey thoughts?

The same script can be applied to Christianity. I have no problem with Christianity however casting judgment on people’s attires yet we are ‘Christians” and thou shall not judge comes off as plain hypocritical.  But I shall save this topic for another day, right? I don’t think we’re ready now. 

Sad facts, decent or indecent some men will still catcall you, hurl their insults at you simply because you ignored their unwelcome attention. They will still feel entitled to hold your hand as you pass by, minding your damn business. 

They will still leave horrible thoughts on your comment section, they will still body shame you.

So where are we failing as a society? Did you raise a gentleman? The narrative of ‘boys will always be boys’ is a lazy parenting strategy. We can do better.

Yellow hoodie @shopzetu

Skirt @shopzetu

Boots @Backyardshoez

Face beat @Facefab_

Photo credits @royalreelphotography



  1. Peter kamau Reply

    I totally agree and anderstand the nature, environment we are leaving in, judgement is the order of the day, hypocrisy at the highest level,forcing things to fall apart where not necessary,at the end of the day you end up isolated,start hurling,spreading negative feedback, instead of being posive;one day I hope the notion on women dressing will change,and start embracing their deceny

  2. Gladys Kinyanjui Reply

    I am also sick and tired about the ridiculous hypocrisy that surrounds the issue of how we dress as ladies… And let me be clear: women in skimpy or tight clothes have nothing to do with them men wanting to get into this heinous act. Darling come to think of it what do we say about them who go ahead and defile a 3year old kid with diapers on?
    i guess it’s our high time for us to change the society

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